20 Techniques For Great Sex
Romance is one of the main qualities of successful relationships. And a part of that includes quality sex. These simple tips and techniques could help both you and your lover enjoy better sex.
Let’s face it: No matter how proficient you think you are, every now and then, you could use a little boost to improve your sex life and satisfy your partner. Try these simple, achievable sex tips with your lover tonight.
1) Daily Exercise
Few things will get you ready to satisfy women quite like getting in regular exercise each day, says Matthew N. Simmons, MD, Ph.D., of the Glickman Urological and Kidney Institute in Cleveland. “Even as little as 15 minutes of exercise daily will improve self-esteem, self-image, and libido,” he says. “Exercise makes the physical aspects of sex more enjoyable. Furthermore, making exercise a habit promotes cardiovascular health, which is necessary for normal erectile function.”
2) Abstain a bit
Abstinence as a sex tip? Believe it or not, it’s a surefire way to improve sex and make your next encounter with your lover even more exciting. “Practice abstinence for a couple of days, a weekend, or a week,” says Mandel. “Abstinence does make the heart grow fonder and makes you lust after forbidden fruit.”
3) Make use of technology
Want to keep her in the mood for sex later that night while you’re stuck at the office? Use your cell phone or e-mail. “Send her sexy messages throughout the day,” advises Mandel.
Regardless of how you get revved up for better sex, Matthew N. Simmons, MD, PhD, of the Glickman Urological and Kidney Institute in Cleveland, suggests not skimping on the foreplay — no matter how long you have been together as a couple. “Foreplay contributes greatly to stronger orgasms and improved sex,” he says. “Gearing up your autonomic nervous system will increase sensitivity, excitement, and strength of orgasm. Your patience and attentiveness will pay dividends.”
5) Respect a woman
Natalie Bencivenga, co-founder, editor, and writer of twodaymag.com, advises thinking like a woman. “To think like a woman in bed, you don’t have to be one,” she says. “Give attention to some of her most neglected areas, like her neck, her feet, her inner thighs. Tease her mercilessly. Make her want it. You will be surprised what a build-up will bring!”
6) Don’t overlook lubricant
According to Bencivenga, there’s no shame in using lubricant to satisfy women. “Many guys think that since women get wet, if we aren’t wet, then we aren’t into it,” she says. “That’s not true. Sometimes, whether it’s stress, certain times of the month, or fatigue, women can have a hard time getting physically aroused even when they are mentally in the game. Lubricant in the bedside drawer is your new best friend.”
7) Switch things up
If you’re experiencing a case of the “same-old, same-old,” working on adding a little variety is the key to better sex, says Simmons. “Spice things up by planning and discussing variations on your usual sexual habits,” he explains. “Lingerie, toys, new positions, and other creative additions can enhance intimacy and orgasm.”
8) Talk about sex
As time passes in a relationship, it’s easy to get into a rut and just go through the motions, rather than express what you really want (and need) in bed. Sex therapist Williams Lucena, FMD, says it’s time to break this cycle with some frank talk. “Ask each other, ‘What do I need in bed from you?’” he suggests. “Get back to the communication you used to have.”
9) Healthily Food
This doesn’t sound like a sex tip, but treating your body right with good nutrition helps the whole body, including your libido, says Debbie Mandel, a stress management expert and author of Addicted to Stress. “Eat healthy foods to reduce cholesterol and keep your cardiovascular system humming,” she adds. “This will ensure that circulation is at peak performance for the ‘southern hemisphere.’”
10). Do your household chores
Want to put your wife in the mood for better sex? “Help around the house,” says Mandel. “The best foreplay happens outside the bedroom. By helping with chores and errands, you make them feel valued.”
11) But don’t overdo it
Too much exercise can have the opposite effect, says Pete McCall, MS, an exercise physiologist with the American Council on Exercise. “Being in an overtraining state produces general feelings of fatigue and low energy and can disrupt sleep patterns and change the mood,” he says. “This is hardly a good combination for wooing a romantic partner.”
12) Work out together
If exercise is good, then exercising with your lover is an even better sex tip, says Mandel. “Working out together ensures that both libidos and endorphins will be up,” she says. “Since you’re both already sweating, take it to the next level. Stretching together is also a good idea.”
13) Plan for sex
It may not sound that romantic, but Dr. Simmons says it’s a great way to improve your sex life and satisfy women. Construct a plan for having sex, he suggests: “Setting aside time or arranging opportunities for sex is very important, especially for busy couples or those with children. Don’t let the frequency of sex dwindle due to fatigue or the inability to find the ‘right time.’”
14) Compliment her body
Want a foolproof way to drive her wild and ensure better sex? “Find a particular feature, and tell her that she is the best in this class,” says Mandel.
15) Focus on relaxation
Men like to get excited about better sex, but women are more likely to get in the mood through relaxation. “Wash her hair in the shower or massage her scalp to relax her,” says Debbie Mandel, a stress management expert and author of Addicted to Stress. “A woman needs to be relaxed before she is ready to receive.”
16) Let her take the lead
Men so often take the lead in bed. Sometimes, the key to better sex is letting her be in charge. “Don’t be afraid to let your mate lead,” says Joyce Morley, EdD, a licensed counselor in Decatur, Ga. “Allow your mate to initiate sexual pleasure on occasions, as well as taking the top position.”
17) Change the location
Another way to add variety and improve sex life, suggests Mandel, is to try someplace new. “Do it in different places to experience a different energy,” she says. “Take it outdoors if you are overwhelmed with technology and want to get back your natural rhythm.”
18) Make love instead
Does it feel lately like it’s just sex? “Try making love,” advises Dr. Morley. “You make love with that special someone, but you have sex with anybody.”
19) Practice self-care
“Take good care of your penis,” says Dr. Simmons. “Penile injury is usually sustained when your partner is on top or when the penis buckles from missed penetration. If things are getting out of hand, ask your partner to ease up. If you suspect a penile fracture due to a perceived ‘pop’ followed by bruising, see a urologist immediately.”
20) Use touch even without sex.
Even when you’re not having sex, you can still improve your sex life by using touch in an intimate, but not sexual, way. “Touching is important, but doesn’t always mean sex,” says Morley. “It is important to be intimate with your mate by touching her with love and affection on a daily basis. Kiss daily, and don’t be afraid to allow her to reciprocate.”
Medication for PE & ED
Many pharmaceutical options are available to help treat premature ejaculation. A common side effect of certain antidepressants is delayed ejaculation, so selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Paxil (paroxetine) may be helpful.
When used sporadically, Ultram (tramadol)—a medication commonly used to treat pain with a side effect that delays ejaculation—has been shown to improve the sex lives of patients. It is important to consult with your doctor if you are considering any of these options to help treat premature ejaculation.
Before deciding on a pharmaceutical option to manage PE, it is important to consult with your physician or urologist.
The oral medications for erectile dysfunction—phosphodiesterase-5 (PDE5) inhibitors—work by enhancing the effects of nitric oxide, a naturally-occurring substance that relaxes blood vessels to allow blood to flow into the penis. With this effect in place, it’s possible to get an erection in response to sexual stimulation and sustain it.
Viagra (sildenafil): Maybe effective within 30 to 60 minutes can last up to 12 hours
Cialis (tadalafil): May be effective within 60 to 120 minutes and may last up to 36 hours
Levitra or Staxyn (vardenafil): May be effective within 30 to 60 minutes and can last up to 10 hours
Stendra (avanafil): Maybe effective within 15 to 30 minutes and can last up to 12 hours